it’s 7DFPS this week, so I’m doing that. also <secret project> won’t be secret for much longer. that’s all for now. bai! 🙂
so I’ve managed to get wordpress to build a list of games from blog posts in my ‘games’ category, here’s how!
first of all, everything here is based off of this, I suck at php and wordpress and my system is just a mod of that. so here goes!
it’s been a while since I’ve teased about a project,I forgot how good it feels when I know everything and you know only what I tell you! >:)
I was walking up the path on the hill, I thought the view at the top would be best,
on the way there I heard someone really worried.
“Perhaps we I should call a doctor, its not moving… I want to do something, but I’m not qualified”
I turn the corner to see a friendly looking short brontosaurus type with feathers looking at the floor very seriously.
on the floor is a piece of paper, lying motionless. I think to myself, “this must be the first time this dinosaur has ever seen litter”
so I explain to the dinosaur that everyone is qualified to make the world neater, and one piece of paper is nothing to worry about, and I talk the dinosaur through the process of picking up the piece of paper and eventually convince him to put it in a big friendly red rubbish bin.
pleased with his accomplishment, but also a little upset at the worry it caused him, the dinosaur turns around and leaves, on his back, I see a new piece of paper on his back, I take it and see there is writing on it;
“im a difrnt leta to th ova leta, tha leta ony ha 292 letas”
I find the papers attempt to be independent quite charming 🙂
the dream that immediately followed has a similar theme, but is much more disturbing, and after having it I am bothered it was my psyche that generated it, don’t read on if children killing each other is unsettling to you.
in a city courtyard, between tall but old buildings, about 80 or so children appear to be enjoying their lunch from school, some of the police/military men watch over the children.
at the centre of the courtyard, a pair of the children kiss each other, draw swords and behead each other simultaneously.
this is only the first act, the shower of blood surrounding the two corpses hits the first policeman nearby, he doesent live long enough to realise it though, before he can turn around to see what his friends are so shocked at 14 different weapons pierce his body and his head rolls to the feet of his best friend.
all the children who killed the guard quickly kill each other and the courtyard is entirely red. the rest of the children draw their weapons and the guards turn on them immediately, very quickly the only children left alive are the youngest infants who appear cowering in the corner. the police see their weapons, but believe them to be to afraid to follow whatever misguided plan the children had arranged.
“we weren’t afraid,” the last girl tells the policemen in her cell “we were just protecting him”
back in the courtyard a boy stands in the middle of the infants. and draws his weapon, he kills all but one of the police, and all but one of the infants.
“when our minds and futures aren’t our own, every aspect of our behaviour and lives are already determined, our choice of death is the only thing we can do to reach for independence.”
the girl promptly and violently breaks her nose sideways, rips it off and uses her cartilage to cut the throats of the unsuspecting policemen in her cell, she then cuts her own throat and falls to the floor.
… the reason my dream was so shocking was because its something I shouldn’t forget, and I ignored the message the first time.
independent thought is a fragile thing, and even if a person is behaving, if they aren’t doing it of their own accord then that person doesnt realy exist.
I think the dreams were a message to me, who on the same day I was appalled at the horrific thing that was seeing MTV help recruit soldiers with an advert aimed at young children, I still thought I was justified to teach right from wrong in my games subliminally.
if it worked, the gamers it influenced would resemble better people, but they wouldn’t be people anymore, so from here on if I have a message in my games or art, it will be explicit.
yes, perhaps I appear to over think some aspects of what I create, but like it or not when you play a game or view some media you are letting your mind be guided, and its a serious responsibility for the people who put such things out there.
anyway, its still pretty early so I’m going to go back to bed and see if I can have a dream that is both pleasant and doesn’t have a point. night guys 🙂
Still havent decided just what I want enemies in phantasmal to look like, heres where I am leaning:
also I suck at drawing faces, especially giving them specific expressions, so I started practising that today:
sooner or later I’ll get the hang of it and in a way tat matches my drawing style… I hope.
but really I spent most of my day playing FFX-2 and re-reading Venus Envy, its a really cool webcomic about teens with gender issues, its not the ultimate insight into being transgendered, but I can say there’s alot of stuff Zoe (the main chara) goes through and thinks that I had to deal with myself (though she’s been in much more serious situations than I ever have, I seem to be the lucky tranny no one ever picked on, or tried to kill for the leading role in the school play ^_^)
and whilst we are on trans-related bloggings; I’ve been taking hormones a while now and they recently started kicking in (and hard) so I’m blaming my big gap in game-making on puberty 2.0, but I’m finding my motivation to do it again and even did a little work on phantasmal today too, so yay 😀